I don't really have a title...not feeling creative right now

So, I have decided that I want to start fixing up our house. I mean, we have pretty nice house, so we should make it even better. I just have never been the greatest at decorating, but I am going to try. I want this place to look nice. I want to paint, too. (Hope that is okay.) And I want to get artwork and other things to put up on our walls. I am kind of excited about this, but don't think it will happen before school is out. I am too busy right now to even really get into it all.

This weekend was lovely, except for the test I had due today. Friday, was, err, well you heard about Friday. Saturday, however, was pleasant. I had a little time on my own to work on my test. Collin was napping and Josh went to KC to get his contacts. Then, later on, I went to Hazel's with my mom and sis. That was really nice. I don't get to hang out with them enough. Saturday night we had a family BBQ. That was really fun, too. Anna is growing up so fast and she reached her arms out and leaned to me. So cute!!!!

The test made this day okay. I mean, I stressed out about it and it took up most of my Sunday, but I am hoping the rest of the night goes okay. Fingers crossed.

Why must rain always arrive during a parade?

Why must my day always go awry at some point? I mean, seriously. This has been a stressful week. I was even at the point of questioning whether or not I should be a teacher anymore. I mean, that's serious. That would be a whole life-changing decision to quit teaching and find something else, but I was at that point this week. I really thought that maybe I would be better off if I left it and found another occupation. What? I don't know. I just know I wasn't happy and I felt like I was doing a horrible job.

Today started off okay. It's Friday...the last day of the work week...and I get to wear jeans! What could be better than that? And then a student said the most amazing thing to me. He told me that he thinks his writing is improving because he has been reading more. Bingo! Hit the nail on the head. The constant repetition of why reading is important finally sunk in. Wow! It took how many years to understand that? And still most of my students don't. He, however, made my day. Then everything else went well, too.

Getting home was a breeze and there weren't any real issues. It wasn't until later in the night that things began to turn sour. Collin was a pain and Josh was a grump. I don't know what I did. I was actually having a good day, but, of course, it couldn't last the entire day. Could it? This sucks!

And, even though I now finally have some peace and quiet to work on things, a freaking big spider just came down from our ceiling less than a foot away from me. Really? A freaking, ugly, gross spider and no boy to come and get it for me? I hate them! HATE!!!! Luckily there was a paper towel and I got it, but I still had the willies afterward. Yuck!

Brainstorming...I guess that is what this is today

I hate when I have to write an essay and I don't know what to say. I know what I want to talk about, but it just isn't going in the direction I want it to go. For my teaching writing class, we have to write an essay or a creative non-fiction piece about...anything! That's what I hate. I want more direction.

Anyway, I am writing about the Orphan Train. I thought I would write about this because I feel it is something important in history (and in my life) and no one really knows about it. Basically, in New York, they established this train that took orphaned and neglected children out to the Midwest to new families. My great-grandfather and many of his siblings (he had a lot of siblings...his parents just didn't stop having kids) were put onto the Orphan Train. They were brought out to the Midwest and he was taken in by a family in Maryville. He was 11 when this happened, so the family that took him permanently took him more as a farmhand than as a son. To me, that is really sad, but I guess that was just how it was. He was taken away from his real parents, where even though they were very poor, he probably felt loved and cared for and like a son. Then he gets sent here. He isn't poor any more, but he is treated more as a worker than a son. His new "parents" weren't as loving as real parents are, and he had to grown up with that for the rest of his life.

Anyway, I want to tell this story in a somewhat creative, somewhat informative way, but I don't want it to be boring. I don't want it to be an autobiography of his life. I want it to be more than that. So, I am banging my head up against a wall trying to come up with an idea. (Okay, really, I am checking in on Facebook all of the time and peering out the window wishing I was outside.) I just don't know what to write. I have it started, but am not happy with it. Hopefully venting about it through writing will help.

Can this school year be over with? Please?

This has been the most stressful school year not only for me, but for Josh, too. It really sucks. If I am not stressed with my masters classes or one of the classes I teach at school, then Josh is stressed with CTA stuff. I am just tired of it. It feels like we are unhappy more than we are happy. We are cranky, we are short-tempered, we are not happy, and we are TIRED! It is exhausting feeling this way most days. I just really wish this year were over. I wish my classes were done. I wish the yearbook was put together and ready to be completely submitted. I wish it was summer so Josh would get a break as president. This just isn't any fun.

Emotionally Exhausted

I am just exhausted...emotionally. The past weekend brought about an ended friendship; this week brought about being offended and a student complaining about me on a Facebook. I don't know why I really care about any of this because it really shouldn't matter, but it does bother me and it wears me out. I just wish I could take a trip away somewhere for awhile. I was hoping things would get better once the week started, but they haven't.

I have never been more ready for summer break.

Stress + Aimee = Bad combination

Stress and me just do not get along. It just causes so many problems, not only for me, but for everyone around me. People always tell me to let things go and to quit worrying, but it is really hard not to.

This school year has been really difficult for me. On top of trying to be a good mother and a good wife, I am teaching pretty much all new classes that I have never taught before, dealing with our yearbook which takes TONS of work (seriously, TONS), do everything I need to do as the student council adviser, and take two masters classes online. If you have never taken an online class, try it just so you understand...they are harder than attending class. Professors feel like they have to make up for class discussion by adding tons more reading and work to do online. Trying to keep all of these things straight and get everything accomplished on time has been really difficult. It has caused so much stress on me, which has caused stress on my husband, which has caused stress on our relationship. I know he feels like I am never happy, but that isn't true. I am happy, most of the time. I just have a lot of things on my plate right now and it is really difficult to keep up with it all. I try to get in some physical activity to relieve some stress, but I don't know what else to do. He tells me to go to another room and have some alone time, but it isn't easy to relax when your son is screaming and crying in the other room, or the dogs are getting into trouble for peeing in the house or chewing up something they are not supposed to have.

I know I am guilty of freaking out sometimes about the smallest things. I know that I need to not care about things as much as I do. I know that I need to relax. I just wish I knew how. I have always been this way (not this bad...not since I was president of my sorority--talk about stress!), and I just don't know what to do right now when it seems to be worse than ever. The biggest thing I need is to not have so much stuff on my plate. I need a break. I need to be able to just relax and not have to worry about ten million things at once.

The Devil and Angel of Eating

Okay, so I totally want to get into shape. I am so tired of feeling like I look like a blob. I know one of my biggest issues is eating. This winter has kept me inside and bored, so what have I done to keep myself busy?: EAT! Yeah, you got it. I eat for entertainment. Except last week. I actually got it pretty under control during the snow days. I didn't allow myself to eat when I was bored (even though I was extremely), if I did want a snack I ate something small and healthy, and I kept my meal portions small. I was feeling pretty good. Well, tonight all of that went out the window. I tell you, there is a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other. The angel tells me, "Slow down. Don't eat too much. You don't want to become a fat cow." I start to listen, but then the little food devil pipes in, "Oh, you can eat one more fajita and be okay. Come on, finish that margarita, you know you've had a bad day." And, for some reason, that little fat devil wins. Ugh! So, now I have to get through the rest of the night feeling like a cow, knowing that I am not going to be active enough tonight to burn any of it off.

Tomorrow, however, is a new day, and hopefully, I will get back to the way I have been. I am really thinking a salad sounds good for lunch.